16 December 2011

Friday FWD: Christmas Cake Recipe


"Dear Friends:


Since the Season is upon us, I thought I would share one of my favorite
recipes with you. Feel free to share it with your friends and loved ones. 


Christmas Fruit Cake

1 cup of water 
1 tsp baking soda 
1 cup brown sugar 
1 cup sugar 
1 bottle Jose Cuervo 
2 cups of dried fruit 
1-2 cups nuts
4 large eggs
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tsp salt 


Directions: 

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. 

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again. 

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. 

Repeat. 

Turn on the electric mixer. 

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. 

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again. 

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK.

Try another cup .... just in case 

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. 

Pick the frigging fruit off floor. 

Mix on the turner. 

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. 

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a crap. 

Check the Cuervo 

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. 

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. 

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, 

Finish the Jose Cuervo and kick the cat. 

CHERRY MISTMAS!


Note: Above is a copy of a forwarded chain email and is in no way affiliated with the
 views or opinions of Snacking Squirrel. That said, please enjoy with lighthearted humor

4 comments:

Lauren said... [reply]

Hilarious! :)

Emily said... [reply]

This is so clever! I love it. Thanks for sharing the humor!

Jolene - EverydayFoodie said... [reply]

Awesome! Love that last picture :-)

haridelle said... [reply]

I absolutely love this kind of recipes. They always make me laugh.

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